I need to obliviate all those feelings. For some moments today, just some, I rly hate the fact that you come speaking to me again. Because I know I will look back and fall again. And I know you will not catch me when I fall. Tonight, twitter seems to be overflowing with #decemberwish tweets. Wishes? 11:11? Are you fucking kidding me? They are just like FAITH, disappointing me as always. Stop being so stupid Celeste Yeo Jing Min. You come and go, why am I still hoping?

Looking back at what exactly happened a year ago, all I can say is that I've changed real big time. Hahaha my blog entry was a joke too... X'mas has always been good for the past few years. This year? Nah I don't put much hope in it.

Ya fuck it. Fuck school tmrw and all the rest. Itsnotgoodnightitsafuckingbadnight.

Ahhh my lovely bffs, hope t see you guys again soon hehehe. I've been doing math all night thanks t the fugging quiz tmrw.. I hope I don't fail again this time! :( Why does derivatives of dy/dx even exisit???? I needa do some tumblrin' right now na na na.

I'm excited for school tmrw, idk why as well. And I bet you don't even know that I'm still waiting don't you? Haiii so much for the "faith" I've been keeping. Sheesh why is forgetting those 2 wks so difficult?

I rly wna see shilei tmrw plz plz plz.. We could do all the stupid nonsense together like dye my hair?? I'm thinking reddish brown. And we could get my toms (that one on top!!!!!!) from town. Yes its my 3rd consecutive visit t town. I got so much krazeh stuffs to tell her that she might go "wtf o.o" when she hears abt it! I miss you couz! :( We need the htht!

Anyway, went to the OC spins to study wiv Cheryl and Samantha today. Wasn't much of a hardcore study session but I've got my DEL chapter 2 covered. Bumped into Malcolm, Serena and Fayme at cine. Ahhhh I just love the two mad people omg Waicheng rly need t recover soon and join us next time!

Ineedtoshutdownmylappyandsleepsoon, church tmrw!!!

One of those awesome people who make me laugh in school heh heh love them to bits. Shanlwc holyxsmokes pridewar~ I think I'm laughing way too much, playing way too much that my studies are in the slums!

I've got engmec eltech del eecad eg2 cheesepie fugger why do we have to study.... :'(

SUDDENLY LIKE A HAPPY ONLY

my heart was breaking cause' you came and threw me a lie


Couz's kids always get the biggest cakes on their birthdays.

Elmo boy, luvin' elmo!

The bbq chalet was a lil' boring because I didn't know half of the people there.. Thank God that Sijia came heh heh. We ended up spending some good time alone together at the ecp beach, away from all the people. I was still in my deep train of thoughts as the sea breeze, the smell of tobacco and indie music accompanied me by. Why why why why why why why am I still thinking..?

I think school's sucha mofo peach but I hafta attend it tmrw boohoo.

"She’ll be the first to admit that she’s not perfect. Her life’s a wreck, and the only thing holding her up is the hope that it’ll get better. She’s got some friends who would die for her, and she has friends that would kill her, given the chance. She has the mental stability of a psychiatric patient, and the constant drama that surrounds her doesn’t help. She’s lost all of the people she depended on, whether it be death, or betrayal. Despite everything that has happened to her, the reason she keeps hanging on is the hope that it will all get better." (venetia)

Was a fool to think the grass was greener on the other side.


Double ring


Outfit 4 the day!


LJS for dinner, the usual 2pc cheeken & hersheys chocolate pie!


Emma Watson our favvv angmoh like always heh heh heh.


Errr my phone. I've got nothing to take photos of!


Fotoboof wiv Novell while waiting for the mahjong set-up~

After all that, I still have a lil hope lingering in me. I don't know what I'm thinking, but yeah. Today was kinda good for me? Because I met up wiv the couzzz after a nong nong time since CNY. Saya tidak faham saya hanya bisa berharap k bye bye :(

True love is when you shed a tear and still want him. It’s when he ignores and you’ll still love him. It’s when he loves another but you’ll still smile and say, “I’m happy for you,” when all you really want to do is cry… and cry.

Not enough to fill that heart vacancy. I've been typing.. and typing. I deleted entries, deleted many of them actually. However my words got backspaced even though I know this is a space you'll never visit. I've got her tumblr opened in another window under my safari and I thought maybe that person is her. Yeah I'm stalking stalking stalking. As I continue reading, in my mind it kept me wondering, hmm so maybe she's your kind of girl. She's right, you've got a smile that could light up this whole town. One day if I stop tweeting and you realized, don't ask me why I'm so quiet on twitter. You muted me.

Taking a leap of faith? Trusting people? Following your heart? Sorry I've tried many times, but I don't believe in any of that anymore. I failed, I fell, I fell hard, and I'm giving up. Are those words complete bullshit or what? I won't take back these words until I get the right explanations I need. I don't give a fuck? No, I still do but I'll stop showing it. You made me lose hope in pinky promises you know? I'll forget these 15 days.

God, seriously why are you doing this to me?

I love that "in the beginning" feeling where everything is perfect. You like them. They like you. Texting twenty four seven. Saying good morning, saying goodnight. Then you start using cute little pet names. Then it gets to the awkward stage where you're not sure exactly what you are. Then once you figure it out, it all goes down hill from there. All the excitement is gone. All the passion is wasted. Everything you once were has just faded to lies and bullshit. I hate love.

Story of my life right now.

Your words fall out
Like a rain from a cloud
But they feel like stones
They cut me open
Do you know what it feels like
To feel so unwanted
You keep thinking you deserve the pain

Side-tracking from EECAD for awhile.

This is cool shit!

-
Don't you fret, should you get,
Another cancellation.
Give me a chance I'd make a,
Permanent reservation.
In your heart, in your heart, in your heart,
I don't care who was there before.

Maybe I deserve all this. I give up. I will just take whatever that's given. Maybe I'm just not made for love. I fucking give up geddit?!?!?

I'm afraid.

School's pretty hectic I would say. But yet I'm not like revising or what ok contradicting....... Did stupid & dumb things when I could have done something more productive. Yes it's over already and I can already feel the start of something new!

Meeting up with Venetia, Vincent and their friend tomorrow for some good old luvin' SUSHI TEI @ VIVOCITY!!!! Tomorrow shall be a good day for me since today seriously sucked. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow, SUNDAY. Goodnight people X